And thinking takes more time than actions
The realization of actions that go wrong
I feel like a   serial monitor   that shows all the misspelled objects of my life
and there is this red highlights on the words that make the whole situation even more stressful than it really is. Like when you stand next to a red haired blue eyed girl and you're thinking how the hell did these freckles       fall to this stupid meaningless crowd. Crowd of words coming together     in harmony to create sense. But oh, How arbitrary they are individually.
They are emotionless,
waiting to get a meaning with the other word hanging next to them
Now they hang together,
because they     can only mean what you want them to mean together.
But red didn't need yellow to give an overwhelming sensation.       It is as strong as it can be alone and not arbitrary.
I mean red highlights were pretty straight forward from the beginning
        got my attention before the apology    and apologies are soo arbitrary, never carrying the actual feeling but full of emptiness.     that's bad
BUT not arbitrary is good.     It means that you will get what I want you to get.

Get it?

To me
From me